relentless journey

We Have Big News!!

img_4577

For the past 8 months, Chad and I have been working through all the necessary steps to become adoptive parents, and we are happy to announce that we have been approved and are officially waiting for our baby! We are humbled, excited, and full of anticipation as we begin this next phase of our lives.

 

This is, without a doubt, the single most significant thing we have ever done together, and I’m not sure my words here will suffice to describe all that has transpired this year. We have chosen to keep this between the two of us–and our close circle of friends and family–until now.

 

I’m not sure we were ready for how sacred and how life-changing of a journey this has already been. I am still searching for the words, and honestly, I’m not sure adequate ones will ever come. As we took our first steps, we were met with mounds of paperwork and a rather intrusive look into every facet of our lives. Suffice it to say, it was a fast track to addressing something we all too often run from…pain in any form.

 

We weren’t ready for the effect that paperwork would have on our hearts. As we filled out applications, we were met with questions that begged us to search our hearts in ways we never had before. We found ourselves face-to-face with the reality that we have yet to be able to have our own children. We could no longer run from that hurt or deny the feelings of grieving something that we never even had. Opening up grief is about as unknown of a feeling as you can walk into. I found I had boarded up and closed off pieces of my heart that I wasn’t sure anybody would ever get back into. I wanted to run from those cold places, but knew I had only to run to God.

 

We quickly learned that we couldn’t engage in this process without getting painfully honest about certain areas of our lives. We could no longer describe our marriage or the condition of our hearts with broad brushstrokes and call them good. The stakes are too high. We have learned that the reality of becoming parents required that we get very real before God if we have any chance of doing this well. It’s amazing how long you can avoid those parched areas of your life and still survive as if they have been watered daily. It hasn’t been easy visiting places we have made a living out of avoiding, but it’s been necessary, and it has brought with it a whole lot of growth and healing.

 

I couldn’t be more thankful for how this process has forced us to engage life in a different way. It has opened up our eyes and made our hearts beat for a group of women who I believe define courage. We have chosen to go the route of domestic infant adoption. What that means is that we will receive a child from a very brave young woman who chose not to abort her baby. What she DID choose is to carry and give birth to a baby, likely void of the kind of support that many people take for granted. What she is also choosing is to place that baby with a family or single mother that will provide a permanent home for her baby. I have a hard time saying our home will be “better,” but I can tell you I will do everything in my power to honor what this brave young woman will be handing to us.

 

I will spare you all of the details, but we are in the active phase. That essentially means all of our paperwork is done, and we are waiting to be matched with our brave birth mom. The timing of it all is a huge question mark. If you’re the praying type, we would certainly covet your prayers for wisdom, peace, and understanding through this time. We made a promise to our birth mom not to be perfect parents, but to provide our baby with a home full of–and surrounded by–love. By God’s grace, we will do just that.

 

We are excited and grateful to finally share this news! This truly has been the most humbling process to go through. I’m so thankful to be doing this with Chad and to have the support of so many people who have loved us and encouraged us along the way. Adoption has become our miracle and our story to grow our family. For us, the possibility of parenthood has already changed us, so I can only imagine what a wild ride it will be when we bring our baby home.

 

I sincerely thank you for reading. It is with excitement and so much love that we share this with you!